I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Who died my cat blue again?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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