At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize