what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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