Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
