He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
