Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
