We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize