I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
