I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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