I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
