i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
