haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
