You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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