I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Blow job season was short but glorious.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
