FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
