Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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