honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
