i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
