if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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