We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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