I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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