After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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