And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
