My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
