Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
