Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
either way he was missing a nipple.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
