There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
