I molested 6 butterflies tonight
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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