the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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