we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
