i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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