Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Randomize
