i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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