You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
