Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
