I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
