im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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