What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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