Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
