He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
What a dumb baby whore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
