I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
