I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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