he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize