My sheets look like a crime scene.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
