dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
