I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
