So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
