my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My bed smells like the plague
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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