I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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