i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
