I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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