Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
PANTIES FOUND
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