How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
