Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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