Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
