I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
His nipple licking is glorious
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