apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
well you can't waste a boner
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize