I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
