isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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