Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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