gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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