you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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