yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just cropdusted the office
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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