White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
