so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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